Monday, July 22, 2013

Dating vs Marriage (part 2)

Your out to buy a used car. You arrive at the dealership place, only to fall in love with a specific car. The car however is out of your price range and the only way you could afford it is to take some sort of loan. Something that in the beginning you said would be "out of the question for you."

The car dealer says to you: "Go ahead take it for a spin." 

At that point, you decide "Okay, I guess I'll test it out see if I like it or not."

Getting into the car, you touch the leather seats, play with the radio, glance at the mirrors and you start to feel yourself weakening in your initial decision.

The car dealer's main interest is getting you to buy the car. He doesn't care what happens to you after the sale is complete. It's no longer his business.

His reasoning for letting you take the car out for a test-drive wasn't so that you'll make a rational, logic decision, but rather an emotional one. As you sit in that car, you are no longer thinking about its price, or how much debt you will be in, or how loan's involve interest and interest is haram. None of that compares to the feeling in your heart as you sit behind that wheel.

The reason why Allah (swt) makes dating haram, is because there is no "test-drive," period. A test drive doesn't allow for one, to make a rational decision. Though it may appear rational on the outside, it's actually an emotional decision being made for "in the moment." Because all that matters at that moment is how you feel.

Male: I like you. I want to be with you.

Female: Okay!

What he's isn't saying is...

Male: I like you enough, to just take you out for a spin, but can't afford to talk to your dad as I am not ready for commitment.

Female: Okay!

When most people go to a car dealership, and realize they can't afford the car they "love" they usually drop it, as reality hits them.

The same, happens in today's society.

Female: When are you going to marry me?

Male: Sorry I don't love you anymore. Don't worry you will find someone better than me.

What he's really saying is...

Male: I can't afford to do this right now, but the test-ride was fun while it lasted. On to the next one I guess.


The funny thing is in both of these situations, usually we go into it knowing what we already want. For example, the person walked into the doors of dealership, knowing what he/she could actually afford and that taking a loan out was out of the question.

Yet when the individual walked in, and after the car dealer whispered a couple of words, to play with his heart, everything he/she had first decided on prior to that meeting flew out the window.

You may be with somebody who is actually completely incompatible, but you are blinded by the emotions you feel, and the whispers of Shaytaan will push you towards an emotional decision, rather than a rational one.

Like the car dealer, Shaytaan doesn't care about what happens to you after the sale goes through. His only mission is to make sure you commit haram, and whatever consequences that comes after that is none of his concern.

Allah (swt) has set these limits so you that you are serious about who you let into your heart/life. This isn't a game. This isn't a test-drive. This is your heart, and you have take better care of it by using your brain to decide.


Salams,

xxComplicationsxx








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