Saturday, June 15, 2013

The Wisdom of Allah (swt)

Ahmad and Sarah were just friends. They were both studying the same major in university, and worked together in the Muslim Student Association. They would meet up sometimes to either study or plan events. Though they both knew it was looked down upon to hang out with the opposite gender, the two thought they're case was different. They're relationship was special. They were just friends. Nothing haram happened between each other. They never touched, or flirted. They just joked and talked. Simple. Nothing haram happening here.

A year went by, and the two continued to enjoy each other's company.

Only one day, Sarah told Ahmad she had a proposal from another guy. And she was considering it.

Suddenly Ahmad's heart stopped. "What?" he cried. "You're looking to get married?"

"Yes!" Sarah said happily.

Ahmad went home that night feeling miserable. It suddenly dawned on him, that he had feelings for Sarah. Where these feelings developed from he had no idea. He loved the way she smiled, the way she laughed at his jokes, the way she teased him innocently, and how she was also so focused.

She was perfect.

But she wasn't his. She couldn't be his. They were just friends!

It was at this point he realized: "There is no such thing as "just friends."

Someone, always get's hurt.

In this case.. it was Ahmad. "I can't live without her," he wailed to his friends. Funny how, only after realizing that he was going to lose her did he realize she wasn't his in the first place. Nor will she ever be his.

Allah (swt) banned building relationships before marriage exactly for this reason. Whether it was intended or not intended, when dealing with members of the opposite gender, there is always a possibility- a chance- where you can get hurt.

You could spend a year getting to know someone, only to realize that it won't work and then when you leave them you suffer emotional withdrawal.

Emotional withdrawal: the phase where you miss the feelings that person brought you. The smiling for no reason, the fast pumping of your heart, the quick intake of breath you have when you see them. The sound your phone makes when you receive a message from them. You miss that feeling. You suddenly may not even remember why you left this person or why it didn't work out.

Sometimes people make the mistake of going back. Telling themselves lies and excuses to run back and make it work with that person.

ex. "You may never find someone like him/her again." 

The truth is you won't. And that's actually a good thing. Because if you find someone exactly like them again, then the result is the same. It won't work.

The smiling for no reason, the heart pumping, the adrenaline rush--- these are just emotions. You'll feel those again someday. You will. Its normal.

But finding the right person to feel that way about is the hard part.

Allah (swt) is saving you from the heartbreak, the waste of time, the effort, the emotional withdrawal. He wants you to save your heart for the right person who will bring you closer to Him.

Be patient my friend. Don't waste time, on building relationships that only end with a roadblock and an empty heart.

Salams,

xxComplicationsxx





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