Paranoia? Better to be safe then sorry if you ask me.

I never trusted guys. Never could really understand the mentality of girls who felt comfortable with them. In fact, I remember growing up I barely trusted some girls. But I considered anyone who trusted a guy to be a fool. In my world trusting a male with anything would be like giving a murderer a knife and saying.. "Hi.. can you please aim right here," as you point to your spine.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-men. In about a few seconds I can judge whether or not a person is trust worthy, and not to toot-my-own-horn, but I'd say I was pretty good at guessing. Intuition is something Allah blessed me with alhamdulilah. 

Whenever a guy would sit next to me or try to talk to me for casual reasons. I'd instantly become paranoid.

"What does he want??!" my internal voice would scream at me.

I know I know.. I'm might be laying on a bit much here. But I don't know some part of me, wonders.. well what do I have to offer?

I mean.. if he wanted to find a friend, he could have turned to another male who would very much happily talk to him about sports, food, and girls.

What could talking to little old me possibly benefit him?

In a way some would say I'm being extreme.

No. Being extreme would be if I smacked him across his face and said: "Get away you perv!" 

But I don't. Cause that would be weird and very illegal. So, instead I continue on the conversation. Talk normally. Crack a few jokes here and there. But I always keep my guard up.

I don't believe that guys and girls can be friends. Its not possible. Especially when your aware of the other persons gender. There is a natural tension there that many of us can deny, but its there. The differences are there too. Though there are exceptions.

For example some of the guys in my community I grew up with, I only view as brothers. Not muslim brothers. Like legit brother brothers. Yes sheikhs and sheikha's I know.. they're not technically my brothers. But in my world -and their world I am pretty sure- there are 0 possibilites.  So their gender has no relevance. In my world its like they're girls. No room for opportunity. Not even halal. Not even anything. 

But then there are those guys who you sit next to you, and you are very aware of the possibilities. You are very aware of their gender.

Some girls would say, "Well I have some guy friends that I've never been with, never thought of that way." 

Well yes.. those are SOME of your guy friends. Not all. You can't apply a specific case, to a general society. You go from the general to the specific. Not vice versa.

Now I'm not saying view every guy you meet as an opportunity. That's wrong. You should be doing the opposite.

View every guy as if there is no opportunity unless he wants to marry you. Because last time I checked that is the initial goal. If you ask me dating is just a long wasteful period of the inevitable. Which is you last or you don't.

And here's a fact ladies: you may not being viewing every guy as an opportunity, but I can bet you my life savings, a lot of them are looking at you thinking: "Well hello there, lottery ticket." 

Don't be an opportunity. Be a human.

Because that's what you are.

Salams

xxComplicationsxx