Split Personality || Awkward As The Sex talk!

I don't know why people feel the need to change themselves just so they get the attention of the opposite sex. If you have to change yourself in anyway just so you can please him/her then trust me when I say its not worth it.
The thing about me is that I do not change my personality to have a guy like me, or to get his attention. Matter of fact I have trouble being myself.  I am unable to be myself in front of others and I I do I not know feel comfortable. When I'm with my friends I can be myself and I will not give two cents about how I act or what comes out of my mouth.
When I have to talk to the opposite sex, unlike  me talking to my friends, I actually have to think about what I say. Which makes  me feel incredibly awkward. I feel very aware of myself. Its so exhausting that to the point that I just want to stop talking. To the point my exhausted brain will run out of things to say, which also makes me feel even more incredibly awkward. Compare this awkward feeling to that moment where you and your parents have the sex talk....NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL.

your face...

From all that mental exhausting conversation, I either come off  stern as a bully, or I become the one-answer type of person....you know, the people that you have to ask them a million question just so you can have the conversation keep going. The problem is that I either go to one extreme to the next extreme. I am unable find a common ground. Why can't I just be myself, the person that doesn't care about what other people think about her? The weird part is that I don't know why I act this way. It is not that they intimidate me or that I have lived under a rock and have no clue how to communicate with the "guy" species.  All I do know is I need to work on my communication skills with the opposite gender.

Even though I have my flaws, I do not feel I need to transform into a "better" Muslim ( Being fake just to please the guy)  or go all wild just so they can get the attention of the opposite gender. Just be true to yourself and  if a person does not think that is good enough, then that person is unworthy of your time. Remember, the person that your meant to be with will love just the way you are. Keep in mind that everything that is suppose to happen is already written, so don't change yourself for someone else's attention. Just try to be the best person you can be and Insha'Allah things will work out.